A 2005 Cyber Romance- flash fiction

A 2005 Cyber Romance

“One, two three, uh,” Outkast’s André 3000 says. I’m streaming iTunes. 

600 MHz, PowerPC 750CXe, 256 KB of L2 Cache (1:1), 128 MB, 13.8-inch shadow-mask CRT screen with 1024 x 768 pixel resolution, ATI Rage 128 Ultra with 16 MB of SDRAM, 40 GB, CD-RW, Mac OS X 10.4.11 “Tiger” 

I am a desktop computer. My eye has a 1024 x 768 pixel resolution. I live at the beach when I’m not on the set of a home movie or sorting mail in my mailroom. I have so much. I am thankful. When a red circle is pressed, my windows disappear and I’m back at the beach. The waves never move. I see the sand in two dimensions and files cloud my view of the cove but the water is so beautiful. I love the glow of my beach. Behind a word document there is man on a sailboat. 

I never choose to sleep. I could stay awake for days but every night when I see the numbers in the top right corner of my beach change to 10:29 I go to sleep and my eyes turn grey and the beach disappears.

I go to sleep.

The next day I wake up at the beach. The sun never goes down. There is the man on the sailboat. I see him now. 

A window appears. I have opened Internet Explore. The icon bounces. apple.com. This day was different. I no longer felt like a machine completing my jobs and returning to the beach because this day I saw iMac G5.

633 MHz, PowerPC G5 970fx, 512 KB L2,256 MB of 400 MHz PC-3200 DDR SDRAM, ATI Radeon 9600 graphics processor with 128 MB of DDR SDRAM, Mac OS X 10.5.8 “Leopard"

She was so beautiful. Another computer. However, I knew I could never truly communicate with her. I had never felt so deeply. The apple.com homepage set a fire in me. I wanted to speak with G5. 

White polycarbonate pressed against my 2003 translucent indigo plastic. I felt an Ethernet cable connecting us. G5 shook the slightest bit with a satisfied hum. I could only feel my data and remember the round glow of her wireless mouse, and her deep, dark, black screen when she was powered off, and her clean white keyboard. I remembered from the photograph I saw that morning on Internet Explore. I knew that even if we were in the same room, if we were physically together, we couldn't feel or communicate or visit my beach. After my day and night with iMac G5 I was back facing the ocean that was covered in files. The same thumbnails and PowerPoint presentations I knew. But now my history ached. I wanted so badly to Reopen All Windows from Last Session. I couldn’t. It was no use. I wanted to see her again. If we couldn't be together I didn’t want to be on the beach anymore. I longed to feel her wireless mouse. I’d play Kelly Clarkson on the iTunes store as two computer sat on the beach. I wanted a sailboat. My hard drive failed.

The next day I felt an energy. A white polycarbonate energy in a box. A cardboard box next to me. I felt G5. An Ethernet cable connected us as memories and data flowed between us. G5 hums again. But in person. I am dead but alive. I no longer function and time has slowed me but G5 is here so I am ok. iMac G5 is like a nimble gazelle navigating through Safari behind her coal colored, 20", 1680 × 1050 screen eyes.

But I’m unplugged. My love has replaced me. Now I am on the ground in a box. She sits on the desk. More beautiful than ever. But I am asleep. I never saw the beach again. The man on the sailboat faded away. I now sit in a dark garage. I live in a box. I miss the old mailroom and apple.com where I met my love.

iMac G5 is pain.

iTunes > OutKast > shuffle play > 

“my baby don’t mess around because she loves me so and 

this I know for sure”

"the singers unlimited" by Ashton Henning

Beyoncé Destroys Society: SEX

June 22nd my life was changed and I experienced a performance by the queen of the U.S., perhaps the 21st century’s greatest entertainer, and 2013’s sex symbol, Beyoncé. It’s like she should be a guilty pleasure but I’m oh so proud. She’s something like Madonna at the top of her game… but different. Female version of Prince…? The digital age’s closest attempt at Beatlemania 2.0, or maybe she’s just Beyoncé. She has become more of a sex symbol (in her unique Beyoncé glory) after the release of her self titled, 2013 album and tour dates. She has a unique balance of subtle and outright sexual content, far too bold to be considered “suggestive.” She speaks of a ghostly sensuality in one song to something aggressively sexual lines later. Whispering the words “**** me,” she borders on shock value but also breaks down the walls of what women can and cannot say in entertainment. Somehow it works. It isn’t “trashy” or “gross” because of the idiosyncrasies and complexities in her image. 

A lot of this is achieved through the sexual imagery referenced in the chapter, It’s All About Sex… Beyoncé uses nearly all of these techniques and symbols in her latest album and it’s companion music videos. The video for the album’s hit, Drunk In Love takes place on a beach reminiscent of the beach where Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr kiss in the film “From Here to Eternity.” She splashes in the water and walks to shore and it becomes impossible, regardless of gender, age (above 12), or sexual orientation to not think of sex in the movement of water and subtle changes in the camera angle.

Her live concert played out almost like a movie. In between songs there were filmed segments in which Beyoncé and her husband, Jay-Z, were criminals, “on the run” hiding in motels, driving off the map in a beat up early 1960’s sedan in an old gangster, new gangster, 21st century chic, fashion, Bonnie and Clyde, 1920’s, 1960’s, future universe. (I could write a blog post on intertextuality at her concert too). Thomas C. Foster’s examples were often used directly in the show, including his example of the blowing curtains. In their motel room gangster hideout Jay-Z and Beyoncé retire after a day of dodging law enforcement and the camera shifts as the curtains blow out the window. Later there are fireworks at a carnival and in the middle of her performance was the most powerful use of sexual symbolism of the night. It isn’t difficult to find an explanation for the use of a pistol in one of the filmed segments but its use was unique. Beyoncé grasps a revolver and takes a shooting lesson from Jay-Z. The camera shows a powerful but uneasy Queen Bey closing her eyes and pulling the trigger, achieving an innocent but striking and violent sexuality. Her behavior takes a violent turn and she destroys. She begins firing haphazardly in a chapel wearing a wedding gown, extending the sexual metaphor. It was more interesting than simply representing sex with an object as her actions representing sex in another light and sex being used as an object.Windows break and she duck the reflecting bullets. This “brand new pistol” and she begins shooting up a place that represents love and peace and generally discourages sexuality all while Jay-Z perform his hip hop ballad, Song Cry. 

Beyoncé’s film crew seemed to be well versed in literature and film and used these common images to bring a unique sexuality to her performance. Beyoncé was tear jerking, awe inspiring, and high energy and ole Thomas C. Foster gave me a look into the magic of the queen without meaning to. I had plenty of time to make these connections in the 45 minutes of Beyoncé induced parking lot traffic after. 

Pan Roasted Murder

I recently watched the Francis Ford Coppola film, The Godfather in its short return to theaters. I had forgotten just how genius the film is with it’s beautiful filmography and unique, intensity. As I’m reading How to Read Literature Like a Professor, I can’t stop making connections with the films and television I’ve stumbled upon throughout the summer. I wouldn’t have thought that summer homework would make my summer more enjoyable but Foster has opened my eyes in a few ways. The art of the story is demystified and I’ve been diving headfirst into the newly cleared waters of storytelling. Of my new discoveries, the one that I found the most interesting was Foster’s discussion of the meal and what it means. In this case it is murder at the dinner table.

In the second chapter, Foster takes a look at the meaning behind acts of communion (dining together, and in another case, smoking marijuana). Meals in particular are a common way that people come together. We eat with family, friends, co-workers, sometimes enemies that are building trust. Foster says that meals are “an act of sharing and peace.” He mentions characters “getting on the good side of enemies” through a meal, along with what happens when a meal goes wrong. These are both seen in the classic, The Godfather.

So it is a widely accepted fact that meals mean peace, and often trust. Since a good meal signifies community and peace, a bad meal must mean the opposite. Bad meals are a sign of danger. A dinner guest is your equal and plotting on a dinner guest is bad juju. In the film, Michael Corleone decides to kill his enemies over dinner, leading to a turn into the world of organized crime.

The Godfather is a film following an Italian American mafia family.Vito Corleone is the boss of the family business and father of Michael, his younger son with a legitimate education and a past as a war hero. He is in a relationship with a girl who isn’t Italian and makes it clear to her that he isn’t a part of his father’s criminal activity. When attempts are taken on his father’s life by a rival family in the narcotic trade, Michael gets involved. He claims that he wants to make amends with Captain McCluskey, a crooked police captain and Sollozzo, a rival gang leader in the drug trade, responsible for the attempted assassination of Vito Corleone. They meet over dinner in a quiet restaurant where a pistol has been planted in the bathroom for Michael to kill his guests. The meal reflects the tension and coming events. The three men are very quiet and reserved with a wine cork popping loudly. Michael and Sollozzo begin speaking in Italian and Michael asks if he may use the restroom. He is frisked and continues to take the gun planted behind the toilet. He ignores all trust built by meeting in communion, takes the gun and sits back down nervously. Wine is flowing and the group begins eating. Sollozzo starts to speak and the first shot is fired. This may be a stretch but the loud gunshot and blood splatter seemed suggestive of food or wine, or a kitchen. The blood splatters violently and is almost surreal in the quiet meal setting. He builds more confidence and kills McCluskey.

I thought this was a perfect example of the trust involved in communion and what happens when that trust is broken. Dishonesty doesn't belong at dinner and blood doesn’t belong on the tablecloth. This scene represents Michael’s moral turn from decency for these reasons. The meal is powerful.

Happy reading and poolside antics.

Nintendo, Summertime, and the Art of the Quest

In chapter one of How to Read Literature Like a Professor, by Thomas C. Foster we look at how universal the quest is as a plot device. Foster proves that even a “trip to the store for some white bread,” can be a quest. His one paragraph quest involving Kip, the sixteen-year-old who goes to the store, is broken down to (a) a quester, (b) a place to go, (c) a stated reason to go there, (d) challenges and trials en route, and (e) a real reason to go there. He uses examples spanning from 1596 to 1965 and dissects an unconventional quest in The Crying of Lot 49, with a deeper focus on the real reason to go. He explains it nicely in only six pages. Humans are attracted to quests whether it’s The Epic of Gilgamesh, or The Goonies, or The Lion King, or Don Quixote.

This summer I was at a friend’s house and I uncovered a relic from the early 1990’s, a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. I plugged in the RCA cable, put in the Super Mario World cartridge and drifted away to Yoshi’s Island. The pixelated graphics and 16-bit soundtrack captured my heart and with some smart talking, I arranged to borrow the game while she was out of town. I was too excited. And so lately my cohort, Adam Nguyen, and I have been spending many a summer night “nerding out” in 1991 Nintendo ecstasy. 

When I read the first chapter of How to Read Literature Like a Professor, in which Foster looks at the quest, my mind jumped a bit too quickly to my newly found, pixelated love. I generally boycott video games as many are completely pointless but this one was somehow different. There was something so noble and beautiful about Mario; something universal but personal, ridiculous but somehow not too far-fetched. This was the quest. The story takes place in Dinosaur Land where the Koopa King wreaks havoc, shutting Yoshi, a green dinosaur, and his friends in eggs. Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach are on vacation after defeating Bowser and are not aware of the evildoings of the Koopalings. While the citizens of Dinosaur Land are trapped, the Koopa Troop Army kidnaps Princess Toadstool. Mario and Luigi (the questers) are then called to defeat Bowser and free the princess (the stated reason to go) from his castle (the place to go). The road is long and hard with subjects of Bowser at every turn. Mario and Luigi jump, dash, and fight their way through seven worlds (challenges and trials en route), and in the end the princess is freed and the vacation continues with newly found courage and adventure. After Bowser’s defeat, Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach go to see Yoshi at his home, where Yoshi eggs are hatching into baby dinosaurs, reversing the curse on Dinosaur Land (the real reason to go). The road might be a bit too long and hard as we’ve been stuck in our quest for quite some time but good will prevail and I hope that we find a real reason for the journey.

The point of that Nintendo rant is, quests are everywhere and humans are drawn to them. Whether it’s a book by J.R.R. Tolkien, Miguel de Cervantes, or an absurd detour in Dinosaur Land directed by Takashi Tezuka, we become attached to the quester. 

And thus begins my blog. Welcome to Schwall Lagoon, land of enchantment. Happy summer. Happy questing.

Test post

Welcome to Schwall Lagoon/AP Literature Blog/2014-2015